Safe at home, it’s easy to tell what someone’s non-verbal cues are saying to you or about you: as long as you don’t think too much about it. The guy whistling at the girl or checking her out from across the room usually thinks she’s attractive. She might have a piece of broccoli stuck in her teeth, but that’s not usually the meaning. Likewise, a woman tossing her hair or licking her lips is probably trying to seduce someone. However, while travelling, the rules might change.
It’s not actually anything to be worried about. Just because the rules change doesn’t mean that they’re anything to freak out about. It’s just cause to be careful. If you’re going somewhere, be sure to read up a little bit about that country’s non-verbal communication before heading out.
One of the best parts of travel is learning as you go. Though that can get you into trouble, it’s a great learning experience and can be a lot of fun. Most people figure out the rules as they go along, whether that’s through something horribly stupid they do, from talking to other people, or just from watching others. Here are some tips:
(1) Don’t smile. Unless you have a very good reason. Americans are typically perceived as friendly. Friendliness can be portrayed in many different ways, and can be taken in many different ways. In the States, a smile is seen as a greeting, a way to express happiness and contentment, or an encouragement - a friendly gesture, if you will.
However, in France, a smile from a woman to a man says, “I want you now,” or “I think you’re hot,” or “I want to have sex with you.” Even a woman to woman smile can be misconstrued, because that smile might mean “I think you’re stupid,” “I’m trying to trick you,” or “I’m so stupid, I don’t know any better than to smile.”
Likewise, in Russia, the American smile is completely understood, because one does not smile simply out of politeness in the Russian culture. The constant smile, so popular in the US, is a demonstration of insecurity and unwillingness to show one’s true feelings. It can also be a sign that someone finds you attractive. A smile can also be used to indicate you think someone is stupid.
More often than not, the American in question is not attempting to suggest any of the above. However, when you smile, you’re suggesting something. It’s best to just not smile unless you know how that smile will be interpreted, and what, exactly, you are suggesting.
(2) Eye Contact is a Big No-No. How many Americans have been told by a friend or a family member, a finger wagging in their face, “You look me in my eyes when I’m talking to you,” or need eye contact to be convinced the other person is listening?
However, eye contact isn’t always a smart thing. Like a smile, eye contact can show interest, and should be avoided when walking down the street. Brief eye contact is acceptable in some places, like France, but it should not be prolonged.
Also, in many places, such as some Asian countries or even in some Native American cultures, eye contact is seen as a means of establishing equality. It is unacceptable for a young person to establish eye contact with someone who is much older in these cultures, or even of the opposite sex.
Body language is an important part of everyday communication, so whether or not you speak the language, your non-verbal cues may be saying more than you mean to. Or something completely different. Non-verbal communication makes up about 80 percent of any given conversation. In a foreign country, where non-verbals are different, it is important to be aware of what you are saying, and to know you might be saying something different.